The start of something new

Finding my way hasn’t been easy.

In fact this is the first time ive sat down to write something for the first time In almost 6 years.

Something happens when you start a business, you put all of yourself into something that feels like everything. Only to later realize you dropped so many parts of yourself along the way.

All somehow worth it, at least I think so. But I’ve been craving reconnecting with certain parts of myself that fell off along the way of a greater goal. I miss writing, and painting, and sitting with the parts of myself that feel a bit scary and uncertain and spilling them out onto a page for maybe no one to ever read them.

I wanted to make a website to not only showcase the pieces I make- but also to maybe reinvent what used to be my “blog”. But maybe more than that. A very candid and honest representation of my life and what it takes for a single girl to run a business all on her own, and how some weeks that looks like drowning, and others it looks like flying. I want to create a safe space again for myself to express and maybe a place for someone to come for solice and understanding amongst the chaos.

Because finding my way hasn’t been easy. Ive lost alot of things along the way other than my writing and the painting and the free time. But all of it has somehow led me to my dream life- even though my anxieties and demons will somehow convince me that its not. I know that I’ve baked this life from scratch and all the components and all the losses. All greater ingredients to my “success” or whatever it is my brain is calling it that week.

My therapist told me I need to write again. And now I see why. As I type this out I feel a sense of calm and presence flowing over my body that doesn’t happen when I’m manically scrolling, or doing busy work. Suddenly I’m that girl again in 2020, with no job, no plan, and a computer. Just letting herself feel it all with zero audience and zero gain from the overshare.

I want to share all my forms of work with you on this page- I will see what that looks like as time goes on but just know your presence here is something I will never take for granted. I create this and write this in the hopes that I find the presence of the girl that once was- and continue to build a beautiful community with a love of shared clothes and freedom.

here goes nothin

<3 CC